Terror and the East
by ayumipants
Summary: Cursed by a drunkard, the prince must learn the error of his ways. Who could love a monster? Could it be the dark haired beauty that lives in the village below? Find out! Read, or be cursed to wander the globe with an ugly mug. Parody of Beauty and the Beast. So much cocaine it borders on bath salts. Don't get zombified.


A/N: And now, delightful fans, friends and family, we have begun a new Disney parody... One sure to delight all of humanity, both young and old. Please enjoy, and remember to keep your legs, heads, and arms inside the ride at all times.

Ayumipants and Co. present

**TERROR AND THE EAST**

* * *

Once upon a time, it was a dark and stormy night. An old man with hair as white as snow approached a gloomy castle upon a hill. Seeking shelter from the rain, the old man knocked on the door. A violet eyed young prince answered. Explaining the situation, the old man offered a sunflower for a nights stay from the rain. The prince laughed, and shut the door in the poor man's face.

Much to his dismay, the prince turned around to find the old man standing in the foyer. The young prince shouted an exclamation, only to be silenced by the wise words of the old man.

"Dawg, you don't even know what shit you got yourself into," said the old man. "Do you even know who I be?"

Frightened, the young prince did not reply. Instead, he grasped the pipe he wore around his waist to defend himself, if need be.

"I am the awesome and almighty Prussia, and don't you even think about hitting me over the head with that shit. I can see your hand, I know what you're doing." Out of nowhere, a flurry of small yellow birds surrounded the old man, and when they dissipated, in his place... stood a sex god.

"Keep your boner in your pants," said Prussia. "This is not going to be a fun visit."

"I am twelve," said the Prince.

"And I care because?" Prussia shook his head. "Here's the deal, fridge-tits. You ain't being hospitable, and that ain't very becoming of someone of your... social standing. You never know who might come begging at your door. Anyway, your actions have some repercussions."

The violet-eyed prince blinked at him. "I am twelve..."

"I can kill you with one single blink of my awesome piercing hawk eye. But I wont do that. I'm a little bored, I'm a little drunk, so I'll make this fun for everybody. Ba BLAM you're a beast. Now. Don't ask questions. You are a child's nightmare and a furries dream." Prussia waved his hands about. Nothing happened. "Oh, and don't ask your servants for help because they're... objects. And furniture. Yeah."

"I don't look any different?" said the prince, staring at his hands.

"Yeah, well look into this MIRROR, BITCH!"

The violet-eyed prince gazed into the mirror. A terrifying, gray monster with fiery, amythest eyes gazed back. The prince let out a violent shriek!

"Yeah," said Prussia. "Sucks to be you. You should probs break all the mirrors in your house so you're not reminded of your fate. I would not want to see that ugly mug every time I looked in the mirror."

The furry prince made a mental note of this. "Please! Change me back!"

"You can fix this yourself," said Prussia. "In three easy steps! One: Find yourself a hot lady. Or a dude, gender don't matter. Two: Make that lady or dude fall in love with you! Three: Don't let the last petal of this enchanted sunflower, which I have conveniently placed in your hand-"

"Whoa!" said the furry prince, looking at the sunflower in his hand. "You must be a wizard!"

"And you must not be very bright!" said Prussia. "-If you don't find someone to love you by the time the last petal falls, you will be cursed to remain in this form for the rest of your life. Sucka."

Prussia snapped his fingers, and from the heavens, a large yellow winged creature broke through the roof and landed at his feet. Prussia hopped on.

"Caw-CAW," said Gilbird.

"I can understand what you're saying," said the furry prince. "Because I too, am an animal."

"Yeah, whatever," said Prussia as he ollied out into space.

The fluffy prince stayed calm for only a few moments, then ran through the halls of his castle, breaking all the mirrors without looking into them.

"What is all this racket about, Prince Russia?" said a blond, eyebrowed man who was assuredly not a clock.

"LOOK AT ME, I AM A MONSTER!" screamed the furry prince, who, if you haven't figured it out yet, looked nothing like a monster.

"What?" said the servant.

"Look, England!" screamed Russia, holding up the mirror to his servant. "You are a clock!"

England shrieked. "NO! We had better destroy all the other mirrors in this house to avoid being reminded of our fate!"

They ran about like this for quite some time, informing their other servants of their fate as they passed.

"Ooh la la," said the French servant. "I am a telephone. Would you like to press my buttons? Would you like to turn my dial?"

"No you fool," said England. "You are a candelabra!"

The Frenchman screamed. "NO! That is the worst object to be!"

The prince had retired to his Red Wing, and placed the sunflower in a glass case. It didn't float or anything, it just kind of sat there. He stared at it with grief-stricken eyes, wondering how a twelve year old like him could find anyone, anyone, to love a hideous furry beast like him.


End file.
